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Supporting your partner with ED

If your partner is having trouble with erections, you may feel worried, confused or even hurt. You’re not alone, and neither is he. ED is common, it’s often treatable, and talking about it together can make a big difference.

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By Aspire Health Community Care · Updated November 2026 · General education, not medical advice.

Couple sitting on a sofa having a relaxed conversation at home
Facing it together can bring you closer.

ED is common and treatable

Almost all men have trouble with erections at one time or another. When it keeps happening, it’s called erectile dysfunction, or ED. It becomes more common with age, but it can happen at any age.

The good news is that many men get past erection problems with lifestyle changes, treatment, or both. There are many treatment options, and pills work well for many men.

It’s usually not about you

It’s natural to wonder if ED means your partner is less attracted to you. Usually, it doesn’t. Most erection problems have a physical cause, such as clogged arteries, diabetes, high blood pressure or a side effect of a medicine. Stress, worry and feelings of doubt can also play a part.

Erection problems also don’t usually affect sex drive. If you notice a change in his interest in sex, try not to assume he’s no longer interested in you.

How to bring it up kindly

ED can be hard for couples to talk about. Having ED can make a man feel bad about himself, and that can make it even harder to seek help. A calm, caring talk can open the door.

  • Pick a good time: a quiet, private moment, not right after a frustrating night.
  • Start with care: something like “I love you, and I want us to feel close” can help.
  • Say “we,” not “you”: treat it as something you’ll face as a team.
  • Listen: let him share how he feels without rushing to fix it.
  • Skip the blame: try not to blame yourself or him.

Encourage a checkup, and go together

ED can be a sign of a health problem that should be treated, such as clogged blood vessels or nerve damage from diabetes. That makes a checkup about more than sex. It’s a chance to look after his heart and overall health. You might simply say you’d feel better knowing he’s healthy.

If he’d like, go to appointments with him. Choosing a treatment is a personal decision, and many couples talk it through together. Counseling can also help lower anxiety and stress about sex, and partners are often invited to join.

Intimacy beyond intercourse

Intimacy is a feeling of closeness and connection. It can happen with or without sex. Touch, affection, time together and honest talk all count.

Taking the pressure off intercourse can help, too. Expecting too much from sex can turn it into a task instead of a pleasure. This can be a chance to explore new ways to enjoy each other.

Take care of yourself too

Your feelings matter. It’s normal to feel sad, frustrated or lonely at times. Reaching out to friends or family members who help you cope in a positive way can make a difference.

Simple habits like exercise, healthy meals, a steady sleep routine and relaxation exercises can help you manage stress. If stress or worry won’t go away, it may be time to talk with a professional. When you’re both ready to look for care, this guide on how to choose an ED provider can help.

Common questions

Does ED mean my partner isn’t attracted to me?

Usually not. Most erection problems have a physical cause, and ED doesn’t usually affect sex drive. Stress and worry can also play a part.

What if he doesn’t want to talk about it?

Give it time and keep the door open. Let him know you care and that you’re on his side. Counseling, alone or together, can help couples who find it hard to talk.

Should I go to his appointment?

If he wants you there, yes. Many couples talk through treatment choices together, and your support can make the visit easier.

Can we still be intimate while he’s getting help?

Yes. Intimacy can include touch, affection and closeness, with or without intercourse.

Ready for next steps? Read how to find ED care in New Orleans and Metairie, including what a good first visit looks like and the questions worth asking.

Not sure where to start? We list trusted places to get checked in Louisiana, from community health centers to men’s health clinics. See where to get care.

Sources

Where to get care

Any of these is a good next step. Pick the one that fits you.

  • Aspire Health and Wellness†. A men’s health clinic in Metairie specializing in erectile dysfunction and weight loss, with free private visits and a range of treatment options. Visit aspireneworleans.com.
  • Your primary care doctor. A good first stop. They can check your heart, blood sugar, and hormone levels.
  • A urologist. A doctor who specializes in men’s urologic and sexual health.
  • A community health center. Fees are based on income, with or without insurance. Find a community health center.
  • Louisiana Medicaid. If you qualify, it covers doctor visits and prescriptions. See if you qualify.
  • Veterans. Southeast Louisiana VA Health Care offers men’s health care for enrolled veterans.

† Affiliated with Aspire Community Care. We’re a nonprofit and don’t provide medical care; choose any provider that fits you.

Not sure where to start? Tell us what’s going on and we’ll help you find a next step. What you share stays private.

Keep reading

Talking to Your Doctor

What to say, what to expect, and a short checklist.

ED: Causes and Signs

What ED is, how common it is, and what causes it.

Men’s Mental Health

Stress, depression and anxiety, and how they affect ED.

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